home

“Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.”- Sarah Dessen

While I've been away at college, I've been thinking of what defines 'home'. I've thought about this every time I ask my roommate, "When are you coming home?" or when someone asks me, "I'll drop you off at home" or, "Hey, I just got home!"

It's weird to think that I have more than one home now, that I'll probably have more than one home for the rest of my life. I don't know if I feel at home here just yet, but it's becoming more and more comfortable each day, and I don't think it's my body adjusting to it. I think it's more than familiarity that changes what you call home. It's people. I wouldn't feel at home if I had never made friends.

And it's odd to think that anywhere in this entire world can be my home. I'm at this weird life-limbo, where I can end up anywhere at this point, depending on where life drags me. I like that while at the same time, it scares the hell out of me. 

Maybe I'm thinking about it too much, maybe I don't need to define everything in my life so quickly. I feel that way about a lot of things; defining my career, my friendships, my passions. I always feel like I need to be 100% sure of everything, when that's just not possible when you're 18 living on your own for the first time. 

But back to what I was saying about home. Like the quote above says, home is a moment. I feel at home when I'm laughing until I feel like I'm going to pee my pants with my best friends. Home is when I hug someone I haven't seen in months. Home is where my family is, but it's also where my heart is. And maybe I'm just too sentimental of a person, but I feel like I keep the places I go in my heart all the time, and build this 20 story building of homes in my heart, and I keep it all there. 

I like the idea of that; I'll always have somewhere to call home.